"Welcome to my World"

As I approach a milestone in my life's journey, my 65th birthday, I have looked into the shadows of my past and reflected upon the sunshine and the storms. My very existence is a sum of all of my experiences, varied, mystical, dangereous, blessed and countless adjectives and adverbs of every size, shape and variety.

I offer my thoughts for those who will walk with me. For those who cannot, I offer my prayers for a safe journey of your own. For those who want to enter and leave as their whim directs, lets enjoy the pieces and parts we share going forward. If a journey starts with the first step, lets lace up our boots and proceed.

As begininng landscape, I will allow my fellow travellers into the complexity of my life. One I have carefully created and protected which has allowed control in most situations. I am a genetic survivor of a highly functionable-disfunctional childhood. My siblings and extended family have not always succeded in their personal survivorship quest.

I was a student athlete or an athletic student. You choose! Every thing was easy for me. A price to be paid for later! My siblings would study for hours-I would study on the way to school. They would pull a B and I would receive my customary A. I played all sports, the majority in "starring" roles. Its easy to get lost in yourself when everyone wants to be you. College was the first wakeup call. If you have never learned to study, you don't know how. You, and I did, believe that somehow I would pull it out when it was necessary. I had always had before, no sweat, no worry. Baseball scholarship-full ride! Athletes dorm, lots of girls, newspaper coverage, scouts in the stands, no sweat have fun!

Academic probabtion-not to worry. Coach provides tutoring-wants to win tournaments. I still read my own press clippings. Batting .750, selected for the college all star team---continued probation---still don't get it. Suspended from school, embarrassed, first major failure in life. How do I go home?? What do I say?? Removed from the team!!! No scouts, no clippings, not sure how to navigate. Never been here before. Want to ask for help---don't know how to. Never had to before.

Welcome to Viet Nam! Thats what the banner said at Cam Ranh Bay! Another story for later.